You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
