you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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