Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
