i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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