just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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