Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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