I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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