in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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