Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
