Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
