We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
