I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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