the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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