ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's blow job season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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