You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
