kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Farmville is her only friend.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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