It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Floor bacon is actually really good
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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