Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
