you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
