Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
