Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize