Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
