if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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