I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
