I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize