I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
