I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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