At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
