it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
