Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
