Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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