i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
