somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
