Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
