Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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