i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
