I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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