hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
