Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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