Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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