I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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