how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
