I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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