he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
