I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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