i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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