I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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