Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
