watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
