Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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