so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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