Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
from now on my penis is your penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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