somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
