Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
