I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
