omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
