What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
