PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
