Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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