Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
