I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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