I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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