Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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