I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
